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She said that seeing the letter I was reading was enough to let her know that at least one person was likely already onto them, and that she felt that, awkward as it may be, she needed to disclose this to HR so that, if someone did start treating her differently as a result, it was on the record that she was aware that people knew about the affair and had good reason to treat her differently. I imagine he isn’t approached often to formally document affairs, but we both managed to carefully avoid passing any judgment as we realize it isn’t our jobs to decide whether someone’s private relationship is appropriate so long as it doesn’t impact their job performance.

We told Anna as much, and I later advised that she and Alex should continue to act professionally at work and be sure to avoid any real or perceived work conflicts (something I’d say to any employee involved in an office romance, regardless of whether it is an affair).

someone with a name close to yours through whom they route their deed – don’t lose it over everyone that has your name who seems suspect! Possibly they got your password from some email you sent, text, or scam email, etc.

She didn’t say anything to me at the time, but later that day, she emailed me to ask if she could set up a private meeting with an HR representative and me.

Phone calls and emails came in – it was very convincing.

I could find no one to directly help me, who knew everything to do. If anything like this happens to you, I hope this helps.

I received an email from Alex later that day in which he thanked me for my “cooperation,” which nauseated me. I am simply complying with the company’s flexible fraternization policy, which does not prohibit you from having a personal relationship with anyone except your direct supervisor or higher.

Please do not mistake my professionalism for ‘cooperation’ or any sort of personal endorsement of the relationship.

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It may not be a site for them [gay men and lesbians], and I get it. That’s their choice.”Except it isn’t—it’s Russell’s choice not to include LGBTs in the way he conceived the site.

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When I met him 15 months later, he was still angry and bitter about the end of his marriage, but he was starting to ease his way back into the dating pool.