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But at least my new acquaintance hasn't hit the "Next" button yet. "Beautiful kindhearted elder sister." Though I want to taunt Bill now, pointing out that I haven't lost my touch, instead I simply write, "I am embarrassed. But I do begin to wonder just a tiny bit if it's Bill who is more naïve, or me who is more jaded.

"I don't know," he says, "but I think your friend might have his adjectives confused." I give Bill a dirty look.

It's evident that Bill and I have learned very different rules about talking to strangers. Hesitantly, I open it, and together Bill and I read its three words. I hate to admit it, but maybe sometimes Bill is right.

They've got Chinese characters in the address lines and the subject of the first is "Me Chinese Boy." I open it up, and the text reads simply, "hi." "Awwww ..." says Bill. The next e-mail doesn't have a subject, and I'm pretty certain this will be the one with the crazy photographs.

Soon I realize I'm not finding these unabashedly engorged examples of male anatomy to be nearly as disturbing or intimidating as I'd expected. If these guys intend to impress, they've overlooked the fact that their wares are, maybe, a half-inch long on screen.

Here I'd been afraid of feeling victimized by predators and creeps invading my living room, and instead I'm feeling empowered.

Fortunately, my friend Bill — my always sensitive and caring friend — can't help saying, "So, what is wrong with you tonight?

In the video, a naked man is seen with a scantily clad woman in what is said to be a hotel room. According to Deadspin's emailer, the man does more than showcase himself to his Chatroulette partner -- he also communicates via the written word.

But quickly we establish that not only are we in different time zones, he is in China awaiting a flight to Japan and I'm in the U. (Later I'll tell chatters I'm in Sweden.) "My English level rubblish," he says.

I'm feeling like a stupid American with my not-so-incredible command of one.

Still, somehow, against my better instincts, I type my e-mail address and disconnect.

I want to see what will happen." I'm trying to be a sport, but it sounds insane; surely this guy is going to send me his favorite photos of naked parts and who knows what else.

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