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Although telling someone you’re interested in can be intimidating, there are different ways to do it, and you might find one easier than the others.In the past, Carlson would put the herpes conversation on the table quickly.Anxiety Support Group for Adults: A weekly support group open to anyone who has a general anxiety problem.at the Anxiety Resource Center, 312 Grandville Avenue, Grand Rapids, MI 49503.“I mostly thought, ‘I’m going to die alone, no one’s going to date me ever again,” she tells SELF.Although herpes is one of the most prevalent sexually transmitted diseases, it’s shrouded in stigma.Davis usually holds off on disclosing to potential sexual partners that she has herpes until she’s known them for a bit.

Although they tell potential partners at different points in the relationship, Carlson and Davis’ actual disclosure process is pretty similar.On sites like Positive Singles and HMates, users are expected to be open about their diagnoses, but because they know everyone else there has an STD, too, it removes a huge barrier—and the question of whether the information will send a potential partner packing.“It’s a great way to see you’re still the same interesting, sexy, desirable person,” Davis says.“It helps rebuild the confidence that gets hammered down when you get that diagnosis.” (She is a spokesperson for Positive Singles, but she’s never used any STD-specific dating site.)Carlson, who got back into dating via this kind of site after her diagnosis, agrees.“On a first date with this wonderful guy, I told him, and he couldn’t handle it,” she says.“I really wonder if it would have changed things to wait until we had connected more.”On the flip side, she’s also dated “quite a few guys who didn’t care at all” even though she told them ASAP.

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