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Most women I want to meet — single mothers my age — have older children. I can get to know dates online before we go out for dinner.

I’m starting my career again and all my energy goes into work and my son. A seemingly sensible saleswoman I contacted last November sent me a picture of herself in a gold bikini.

For the last few months, I have been seeing a chef my age I met on the site. Before we even met, she admitted she’d come to snoop through the windows of my house to check I was above board. The next day I changed my profile to read ‘widowed a few months ago’.

I didn’t want to make a big deal of it, but I hoped a brief summary of my marital status would explain my presence online.

When Nicole and I divorced, we were teachers living in Taiwan.

I wanted to move back to Britain and we agreed it was best for my son to come with me.

I also hoped, selfishly, it would persuade my dates that I wasn’t to blame for my single status; that there was a legitimate, if tragic, reason.

Kate had suffered a sudden brain haemorrhage a year earlier in September 2006.

The next morning, she made tea and I left with a spring in my step.But I didn’t have a chance because on her profile, she stated: ‘All my children are over 18.’In other words, I need not apply because my son would be too young for her.I’ve had hundreds of people view my profile, yet only ten dates in the four months I’ve been internet dating.We’ve all heard about the bad behaviour of men who date online: the married ones just out for casual sex, the ‘successful businessmen’ who turn out to be minicab drivers and the ‘spontaneous risk takers’ who are, in truth, crashing bores.Carleton Smith, 55, is a divorced private chef from Chilham, Kent. But, by that point, I’d been internet dating for two years and had been told one lie too many. I began online dating six months after my wife Christabel and I separated five years ago.

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